#REALLYDONTCARE

I could write an entire book on my reaction and responses to Amy Poehler's Yes Please. It may end up sounding like a crazy stalker love letter, but she could appreciate that down the line right? This post is probably one of MANY endorsements for you to buy that book and support Amy's career and life and online shopping addiction. I've been going through a tough time. Even in my early twenties, I'm facing depression and anxiety. For starters, can someone explain to me the notion of #funemployed? Who started that shit? Last I checked, fun + unemployed = WTF. I've been here. It was not fun. Don't listen to these millennials and basic bitches. I was recently unemployed for the first time in about a year and a half. Here are the stages: It sucked. I got used to it and got lazy. It became me and my bae Netflix against the world. I almost maxed out my credit cards. Almost I stopped shopping, but then a month later I got depressed and spend a ton of money. I interviewed and interviewed. I was unsuccessful. My lack of success led to a deep depression. I settled for whatever I could get because the anxiety and knowledge that I wasted my life away on my $800 couch just became too much. But I digress. #tangent Sometimes talking to the same people over and over again didn't help, not because I don't care about them, but because I just can't seem to get out of my own head. (Seems to be reoccurring. Note to self: check that). Yes Please was the upper to my downer. Amy writes a chapter about treating your career like a bad boyfriend. "Your career won't take care of you. It won't call you back or introduce you to its parents. Your career will openly flirt with other people while you are around...Your career will never marry you." Need I go on? "Career is the thing that will not fill you up and never make you truly whole. Depending on your career is like eating cake for breakfast and wondering why you start crying an hour later." Amy does it again. *applause*. If I ever had the opportunity to meet her, I'm not sure what I would thank her for first. This advice is probably one of the many things I would bring up to her as the reason that I'm in tears. I assume I will overly emotional if I do meet her. These words couldn't have come at a better time to a girl who can only work contract or temporary jobs. A girl who knows success is so close yet so far from her reach. A girl who knows not one soul who has gone through the hell that is job searching and graduating college with no relevant experience. A girl who has only been told she was overqualified to clean a hair salon. People often don't open up about their struggles, or maybe they truly have none when it comes to this area. I wish I could say the same. Maybe my lack of a broad dating spectrum is taking its revenge in a different way; this evasive and coveted career thing is more than just a bad boyfriend to me. But I have to treat it like one. "Ambivalence is key." Says she. All of her advice is basically golden, but this may be the one I should highlight/underline. Like a bad boyfriend, you have to be very nonchalant about your career. Can't show it how much you care or want it, which obvi, that's my problem. Don't wear your heart on your sleeve...sometimes. It's the concept of finding something when you aren't looking for it. As hard as it is to want something so badly, I just have to pretend that I don't. Maybe that's what saves people from hurt. Or maybe putting on that act is some weird subconscious Inception crap that will guard my heart in the long run. Either way, I see what she's saying, and I'm fully indebted to her for these timely words. I would probably be infringing copyright if I quoted anymore.

If your career is a bad boyfriend, it is healthy to remember you can always leave and go sleep with somebody else.

That title belongs to my girl Demi...more on that later.